Oasis Are The Enemy .

words will never ignite, the fear clouds the mind as you ponder the strange decisions and the lies we thought we had left behind as the radio offers aural dysentery and you are reminded that Oasis are the enemy . the shell shocked shell suited wannabe now wears a track suit and says things are boss or top and music is not worth making if it is not on top of the pops and the radio offers up aural dysentery reminding you Oasis are the enemy .. the shallow has reached a new high as music only exists in the past in some bloggers eyes for they are the new mystics the social media kings new clothes what they say is the truth as they are the ones in the know. but they know nothing and only print what they are fed as they pass there crumbs of knowledge onto the easily led . as the raido offers aural dysentery you are reminded Oasis are the enemy . The average strut the stage with the riffs so leaden and nonsensical lyrics stink out the place to high heaven but the thuggery of fans love the lack of melody as it is easy to understand as they stand mouths open with can of Stella in hand .
as the radio offers aural dysentery you are reminded Osis are the enemy.

the yet to be recorded final track from the Retarded Blur Fanboy lp.

Memories from The Bordellos – Meet The Bordellos

i have just found some copies of the meet the bordellos cd , a lp i have not listened to for many a year . it was the second and final released by the original 6 piece bordellos before we split into two sections Chris . Vinny and Geoff in one and myself Ant and Gary in the other ,we then got my then 13 year old son Dan in to replace the departed three . and of course moved into the strange dysfunctional Partridge Family you all know and loathe .
i listened to the Meet The Bordellos lp last night as i said for the first time in years and was quite struck what a very good lp it is ,the years have removed most of the memories of arguments and frustrations that previously appeared when listening in the past , i now can listen to The Prince Of Discontent and not think Geoff really did over egg the production ,the underegged version though was much slinkier and sexier it must be said. so obviously i can;t but it is still popular with folk so i might be wrong anyway ,i remember Mojo picking it as one of the tracks to be heard that month when it was released . so maybe i was right all along who knows [or cares ] .
It is a strangely wonderful lp a lp that links what we were a commercial well produced psych tinged rock n roll band to what we became a shambolic lo-fi ridden piece of soulful heartbreak . the lofi tracks were recorded on a old tape four track and mixed on a ghetto blaster . the fully produced tracks were recorded in the 32 track barn studio in Burton wood created by Geoff and Vinny and i like the differences in sound and style . It has Hooked on it maybe the most lush the bordellos ever sounded and is one of our better ballads a song that always brings back the memory of myself recording the vocal and guitar at the same time and vinny miming to Ant to bring in the lap steel guitar from upstairs [this was a rare occasion when we used Ants to record on this lp] as vinny did not want to speak as i was recording my vocal . so Ant disappeared and returned holding a ironing board with his lovable gormless expression and the what the fuck is going on expression from Vinny you can hear me not trying to laugh on the vocal as that was by far the best take so the one used.
The lp could have done quite well and for a brief time looked like it could break through , it received a number of radio plays in the usa especially on WFMU ,Velvet Mind . Brook Street and Blank letter all proving popular with that station and a number of plays on the college radio network followed it received some great reviews and write ups . it even got quite a bit of play on bbc 6 music ,this was of course was back 13 or 14 years ago when bbc 6 music was indeed a fine radio station not the bland monstrosity it is today .
Sadly it never quite took off Brutarian was a fine label but had money and distribution problems and gigging was really out of the question as the original version of the bordellos had split and we no linger sounded anything like the band that recorded the lp . you have to remember the next lp was Debt sounds which tells you what we were sounding like at that time .
It is a fine lp one that people who do not like the current bordellos will no doubt enjoy . a lp filled with well produced psych tinged pop rock with the occasional dip into lo-fi ,
i have a ltd amount of the cd [when they are gone they are gone] available to buy from our bandcamp . it is getting harder to find and more expensive . i heard someone paid £70 for it from Amazon uk a while ago . which is a bit worrying because if they had gone on amazon usa they could have got it for about £30 including postage .which again is more than i would pay .
It is also available to download for the first time from our bandcamp . so give it a listen .

Liam Gallagher- Shockwave single review

The new Liam Gallagher single the good points it is called “Shock wave” which sounds like a brand of hairspray or gel or some other hair product , whats so good about that i hear you say . well actually nothing but that is whats good about the new Liam Gallagher ,nothing .
It is exactly what you expect from the whinny one it has guitars that sound like it they have been prized away from the hands of a indie rock professional and handed to the hands of another indie rock professional to play the midpace rock indie riff that has been played so averagely by so many .
This song actually i will call it track as lets be frank about this the lyrics are the usual hokum the usual rubbish Liam singing like he means it [means what i have not a clue and i care even less ] it is another paint by numbers track to appeal to the fans of Oasis ,who will be blinded to its lack of adventure and style because they listen to Oasis so are used to hearing songs that lack originality humour and panache .
To help sell the lie that Liam is a rebel they have set this average dog of a single to the extremely unintentionally funny video of Liam walking everywhere has he never heard of public transport actually at one point he does hop into the back of a empty train carriage .but what does he do whilst in there you guessed he walks up and down in it ,i am sure he has made enough to hail a taxi or to hitch a lift from a passing Oasis fan but i suppose in a car he has not got room to pace . He never stops walking in this video it starts with him walking away from a burning house .well actually i think it is a burning public toilet i think he set light to one of his farts .these multi millionare rebels have to get their kicks some way he then walks through riots he walks across the road without looking left or right ,did the green cross code man not visit his junior school .[sorry i forgot Liam is hard he is a rebel he proves this by sticking two fingers up to the camera and pretending that his finger is a gun ] ,
I am sure fans of Oasis will love this not worthy of being a extra track on a Bluetones cd single they will accept the po faced serious message of Liam walking for peace [or because he always wanted to be in the Bitter sweet Symphony video ] it really is damning of the current state of the music scene that this unoriginal charlatan is still being taken seriously.

We need a revolution

I am so bored with the music industry i am bored with the blander than bland , no wonder the youngsters of today are more interested with the coming and goings on facebook. instagram than what is lighting up the charts . there just is no interest anymore. Glastonbury festival just shows how inept the music industry has become at generating excitment can you really see any cunt getting their dick out or wetting themselves on stage this year , it has become a weekend holiday for the middle class ,the luvvies who find it titilating to have a shit whilst in a portaloo soundtracked by the latest smartphone princess . they probably stop mid crap to pout and take a selfie of themselves and then upload it on facebook and count the likes whilst waiting for Bastille to show their twatery to a crowd of inflatable fruit waving morons ,.
There are so many great bands being ignored who’s fault is it . is the the industry themselves being afraid of throwing their cash at the many fine underground bands /artists that are currently playing the ever dwindling small venues that have bands that play their own material and not some shit tribute/copy band ,the small bands that are self releasing or being released on tiny labels who cannot afford the music pluggers to get played on BBC 6 music or any of the big stations , i was told by a very well established bbc dj that bbc 6 was a missed opportunity a station that is in thrall to the radio pluggers and how the same five or six big labels hold a monopoly on what gets played this was the station that was supposed to replace and be in the image of John Peel . he must be spinning in his grave , probably at the wrong speed .
There really are so many wonderful bands out there waiting to be discovered and it really does fucking annoy me that they are not being aloud to break through because of the lack of balls by the radio stations , the big record labels, the music lovers themselves i have plenty of music loving friends but only a handful actually listen to new music they would much prefer to listen to yet another reissue of the lp by the beatles that came out 50 years ago than give a young band a chance . would much prefer to read a revaluation of a lp that was criminally ignored when first released but now considered a classic by a magazine that is criminally ignoring new releases to write about this criminally ignored lp probably criminally ignored by the person who is revaluating it.
Their are some wonderful music blogs that review and write about new music Monolith Cocktail . Harmonc Distortion . Yeah I know that it sucks, I DON’T HEAR A SINGLE . the Sunday Experience. blogs that write about the underground about bands who do not get a sniff in the from the mainstream mags, but it is the click bait blogs that gets the readers they have interviews from the newly styled the check shirted and neatly trimmed beard brigade the bands that adore Oasis and think the Velvet Underground a venereal disease ,that Billy Fury a WWF wrestler. There are still good radio stations radio shows giving new exciting music a chance everybody who loves the underground should listen to Dandelion radio where you will find closest we have to John Peel shows today in a number of shows but especially the Sean Hocking were you will find a monthly 4 hour show of mostly new released music ,. so why oh why if there is so many great new bands out there which trust me there are . why are we served up the the same shit by the mainstream media . we need a revolution ..

Liam Gallagher – As You Were

I was told to listen to this lp by a angry Oasis fan after my bad non review of the Noel Gallagher single telling me it was boss [his words not mine]and that i should grow some taste ,is it possible to grow taste like you do a toenail ,if so is it possible to have ingrowing taste .
So i thought i am a open minded chap and have a wide taste in music and may not be being fare on Liam,just because his brother is crap after all he might have grown in taste ,after hearing this lp i can tell you he has not grown in talent he still sings like he has been told off by his mum and still has lyrical dexterity of baby chimp called shit for brains.
It is just as i imagined he has not suddenly discovered that there is other genres of music than Oasis ,i know Oasis are not a actual genre of music but tell Liam that he loves Oasis and all the bands that play the genre of Oasis like Beady Eye and it did inspire all those bands that play pubs playing the brit pop hits of the day apart from ones by Blur as they were not nice to Oasis in the Britpop wars ,
So what we get here are some unimaginative melodies some unimaginative really bad lyrics “the cops are taking over why everyone is in yoga”unimaginatively played with boringly correct precision everything is were it is supposed to be verse chorus verse middle eight guitar solo etc ,in fact the best thing about this lp is the spotify adverts at least it breaks up the tedium .
So if you enjoy Oasis and love mind crushingly average songwriting this lp is for you ,if you walk like you have shat your pants you probably already have it and ready to be affronted by this badly written review ….. actually i am kidding this lp is really much more boring and unadventurous than i have made it out to be . but i really cannot be arsed spending any more time acquiring [sorry i mean growing ] some taste.

Vukovar – Cremator

The new release from everybody’s fave goth boy band Vukovar yes it must be summer get your pantaloons on, songs to scare away the sun ,and is that a bad thing because all the best things are discovered in the shade .bring on he early nights and the frost bring on the drop dead false eye lash butterscotch beat. What i love most about Vukovar are the disjointedness of the tracks the wonderful drumming backing the edgy voyeuristic disorder whisperings the sound of young Enrico Caruso stumping his toe on his ex lovers bed post . the early Cure keyboards the track pruient is the sound of The Cures Charlotte Sometimes in a blender being licked into submission by a torch singing barfly colliding with stolen Stranglers bass lines .this is perfect rock n roll .it is dark it is funny it is as entertaining as a Shakin Stevens Top Of The Pops performance which is very entertaining indeed .
I really love this lp i think it is their best, will this be the last by this lineup who knows they are a band that should have been far better known and popular than they are maybe with the passing of years they will be seen as one of the finest post punk goth industrial pop bands to emerge from the 20 10’s which they undoubtedly are .