Noel Gallagher -Back The Way We Came -album review

The new Noel Gallagher lp ,well what has he done to deserve 2 hours 23 minutes of our time ,in fact what has noel Gallagher done to deserve 2 hours 23 minuets of album space , how can such a mediocrity be so popular  .. ah the answer is in the question as mediocre does not cause offence as it never ventures from the safe and steady road ,it is the manufactured white bread of rock and pop that is where Noel Gallagher sits ,he has his own place with his leaden mundane rock/pop he peddles without invention verve and wit . This monstrosity of beige is a three-disc compilation showing he has not learned anything over the years apart from how to make money and not offend his fan base . Back The Way We Came is an album full of obvious melodies cliched lyrics well produced muzak for the safe and tidy generation ,does Noel actually know the magic of rock n roll does he ever goosebumps when he listens back to the tracks he has recorded , did you see i wrote tracks and not songs then ,for these are not songs they are words joined together with no meaning or soul like a generic verse from a hallmark card all phoney sincerity and easy money , Noel Gallagher i find offensive in the same way i find his friend Paul Weller offensive as they both think they are master songwriters and are not living off their past glories ,in Weller’s case at least he had more than a great few years of songwriting mastery with the Jam and even the Style Council had their moments but since has become a stars in their eye’s version of  Steve Marriott , Noel Gallagher has written three and a half good tracks and was lucky enough to break through with his average first band when a true rock n roll poet had decided to blow his face off and the music press was desperate to find the latest new thing whether they were worth the attention or not and in no-way was Oasis worth the attention ,they were a band with no artistic outlook and was discovered by a man also with no artistic outlook Alan McGee the unthinking man’s rock n roll sage a man who’s talent was being friends with Jesus and Mary chain . So is the new Noel Gallagher lp worth your time ,the answer is no unless you want an example of what rock n roll does not sound like or you are wondering what rock n roll sounds like with all the strength ,character ,humour ,sexiness , originality ,soul ,depth ,drained out of it . it is not art this is product to be sold to the unadventurous who walk amongst us as is happy to accept blandness .the kind of people who in the 1950’s would have preferred Pat Boone’s rendition of Long Tall Sally and not Little Richards …. this is an album that should come with mashed potatoes  so you can ram them in your ears when it is playing.

And now The End Is Near..

I enjoy writing and i enjoy making and releasing music but i am currently wondering am i spreading myself a little thin as much as i enjoy making music  i also enjoy people listening to it as one does not make music for it not to be listened to , like people who write ,do not write so it cannot be read and the thing with releasing music is you need to be able to promote it so people know that it is out there and currently not being able to afford a pr or music plugger and releasing it through the excellent Metal Postcard Records who also cannot afford a pr or record plugger i have to rely on myself to spread the word and get in contact with radio stations and djs and such and me spending my free time writing about other people’s music is as i am finding out is detrimentally affecting publicity for my/our own releases. Writing about how great the new so and so album is , is not really leading anyone to my own music and the Bordellos and my solo work and the forthcoming Bordello and Clark lp will indeed need some promoting as excellent as it is and take my word for it it is excellent it is also quite a difficult listen at times ,but with the right amount of promotion it will do very well especially as it will be being released on a physical format and is costing the record label quite an outlay so is only fair that i concentrate fully on promoting the release and make sure it sells out . So i think my days of pontificating about new music may soon have to end as much as i love doing so i think putting my own music first may soon be the order of the day .

Excerpt From Memories Of Shirley Templet .

She hung like a slandered pair of nylon tights over a disused old balcony of a once fine and popular theatre bingo card in hand ,those seats had seen the young teenage girls wiggle and squirm and scream at the stars of the days ,even the Beatles passed that way with young mop tops and highly held guitars twisting rock n roll heaven via six strings and a bar chord. Shirley Templet was young once she had posters on her wall ripped from the pages of the teen magazines of the day ,she piled her hair high and imagined she was in the Shangrila’s  hair brush in hand in front of the mirror shaking her teenage hips to the beat singing of boys named Johnny or Bobby. Her husband was named Johnny but he is no longer Johnny just John and her two kids have grown up and gone and have children of their own  and all she is left with is her memories of those mid 60’s days when rock n roll was her way , shandy and rum and coke ,radio Caroline and Luxembourg and wanting to but scared of going all the way with Johnny , she did not want to face the damnation that Father O Leary spat out every Sunday from the pulpit that smelt of incest and Whiskey . but she wanted the thrill and excitement of the swinging London not the sordid sea side glamour of Blackpool the Las Vegas of the North ,the three piers did play hosts to some Beat stars of the day Billy Fury left her a little moist when he stood unmoving flicking his cigarette’ ash under the lone spotlight as he softly inhaled and whispered A wonderous Place  ,and Freddie Garrity did make her laugh when he did that goofy dance and sang pale imitations of the rock n roll greats , they were smashing days ,the world was her oyster her and Johnny were going to be stars they were going to be the British Sonny and Cher ,that is what the Blackpool Herald said anyway ,they were indeed happy and exciting days but they did not last. 

Memories from the bordellos – The Making of The True Meaning Of Record Store Day Ep


the making of the true meaning of record store day

well it all started with myself getting a little fed up of going on social media and seeing oooh this is going to be released on record store day ,a ltd edition ep of bruce springsteens greatest hits with denim plad cover or the greatest hits of emi that comes signed by all four beatles even the dead ones..all for £89.50p…whatever happened to the little labels releases i said to myself with a stern expression ..which is my normal expression anyway but thats just the way things fall ..well my face anyway.. and what about the smaller record stores who get left behind with the scale out of the releases and have to make do with half a copy each shared between them.. and also a lot of the customers themselves who wil buy the precious artifact and not dare to play it in case it will devalue in price .. well that to me is like buying a great peice of art and not dare to look at it incase the flutter of you eyelashes somehow fade the painting.. so i said to dan iwe are going to bring out a ep for record store day a free download only that will not devalue in price as it is free and also because nobody will play it anyway..

so the making of the first track the true meaning of record store day , i wrote the lyrics and myself and dan came up with the tune , i played guitar [my epiphone casino] and sang ..dan played just about everything else and also supplied the harmony and backing vocals , Ant suppiled the tea and coffee and sulked because we mention Bruce springsteen in the lyrics and not in glowing terms .. he feels loads and loads of bruce springsteen lps is indeed a good thing.. in fact Ant does’nt like the track ..which is about 50/50 with all bordellos songs anyway.. ..

track 2 bomb psychedelia .. well i wrote this one as a attack on the current trend of calling all indie bands psychedelic and the bands who are not just influenced by the brianjonestown massacre but want to become them .. wearing beads around your neck and calling people man has indeed become a fashion accessory as has the sudden upserge of psych festivals there the liverpool one the manchester one the one hat will soon being held in the holiday camp near you soon .. whatever next the scunthorpe psych fest with free brass band soundbites … anyway i sing it and play my latest guitar a old echo ranger 12 string acoustic.. which i also wrote it on.. dan plays bass , keyboards, and percussion, , Ant actually played bongo drum on this and joined in with the vocals on the catnap part.. Ant also likes this one.. which is nice..

the third track never earn was written and sang by Dan and quite beautifully too it must be said , Dan knows how to write and sing a ballad as anyone who has heard our past output will no doubt agree with it. it is up there with temperature drop and running back to you.. which of course are two other great dan ballads that can be found in our back catalogue.. anyway on this Dan plays his old bontempi chord organ and as i mentioned sings lead vocals , i play the bass very badly it must be said and Ant play harmonica pretty badly as well.. i tried to play some guitar on it but it did’nt work out and just sounded pointless to add or to some ears take away from the track ..myself and dan added vocal white noise to the track ..a bit like the flying pickets if they where to do a remake of the jesus and marychains first lp might do.. Dan then added the whirring and bleeps with his hand held whirring and bleep machine [i know all the names and musical terms and instruments] and the track was completed .

as was the ep .. actually there was to be a fourth trck which we started it was called the slits a tribute to the great band itself.. but never got to finnish as Ant is currently radio active [this is true] he has to carry a letter around with him to show shop keepers in case he sets off there alarms when he goes into the shops .. in the middle of recording the track Ant walked in from the hospital and the 8 track failed to work.. but worked fine when out of his proximity.. so that track will now be finished for a future release..

anyway anyone wanting the ep please just go to the bordellos bandcamp and download it for free..

Is the Compact Disc Becoming The New Cassette ?

Is the compact disc becoming the new cassette that is the question?. i have noticed more and more lately that bands and record labels are releasing their music on three formats but not one of the being cd ,they will release it on vinyl. Download and cassette ,but are missing out the cd format , why is that .why are cd’s becoming the niche release when not that long ago the dubious honour was held by the cassette, i even noticed that Aldi the supermarket was advertising recently a line in digital radio/cassette players but was not selling cd players. Laptops now do not automatically come with a disc drive like they used to do ,i do not drive so do not know if cars still come with cd players , what is it that has become so unfashionable about the compact disc, why is it that the cd has not the romantic attachment people have with vinyl and seemingly cassette , is it because the compact disc was forced on the consumer by record labels in the mid to late 80’s when vinyl edition of lps where becoming scarce and only released on cd and cassette and now the major labels have reversed the decision and releasing only on vinyl download and ltd cassette and ltd cd. so is the cd becoming on par with the cassetteMy band the bordellos are currently releasing a series of download stream double a-side singles . and they seem to have garnered quite a bit of attention and been asked on numerous occasions are we going to release them on vinyl i have replied no.but we may gather them all together and release them as a compilation album on cd and more than a few people have said why not a vinyl comp as they do not bother with compact disc anymore . Personally i like compact discs but i do tend to mostly listen to music via my laptop  so normally just burn the cd onto my laptop and listen if not that i stream or play the download and the compact disc is still my format of choice as it is far cheaper to buy than vinyl as a new release and i have never been a fan of the cassette ,we even released an album on cassette once called Kassette that i still have not played . but will the compact disc become the new cassette when only a small amount of people will buy the cd as a format ,but will that be through choice or through the fact as once again it has been forced on us by the labels and not actually being able to play the compact disc as you have nothing to play them on.

Vukovar – The Great Immurement

if Vukovar were a film, it would be black and white and have subtitles and probably directed by someone who’s name you could not pronounce and that is one of the things i love about them ,they are not scared to show they are intelligent human beings who are not scared of submerging themselves in art ,i like that they take beautifully written songs and swarth them in so much ethereal finery that it sometimes hides the fact that they are beautifully written pop songs which without the the ethereal finery  would stand a much stronger chance of finding a wider audience . See all art should be made to the artists liking first and fuck everybody else andif anyone else likes it that is a bonus . The Great Immurement is probably the best Vukovar album and probably their most commercial since their debut album it has moments of true greatness “solar Anus Pt2” being a track Depeche Mode would sell their most tender memory for and “O Eden” although not quite reaching the emotional heights of the original by vocalist Dan’s other band Beauty stab they make a pretty good [Beauty} stab at it , but the original being one of my favourite songs of the last 20 years or so i am maybe a bit biased .They also take Current 92’s “when Rome Falls” and turns it into a Soft Cell like postpunk synth classic. ,i also love how they steal the opening bass riff of The hit from Grease Summer Nights on “sculpt The Sculptor” which weaves images of what the John Travolta Character would really like to get up with Sandy way down in the sand. The The Great Immurement is a wonderful embodiment of performance Pop art and one that has not been seen since the days of Shakin Stevens on Top Of The Pops backed by semi naked male dancers ..but who knows what the future holds for the emotional gothic soap opera ride that is Vukovar .whatever it is i am pretty sure it is not going to be boring..

The Joy of the Double sided A-side has overcome Blog Apathy

The joy of the double side single has overcome blog apathy , yes, the latest in the series of Bordellos double A-side singles is proving to be a winner with people ,whether via twitter Facebook or email . people are showing me their love for the double header . The Bordellos of course are currently on a mission to bring the magic of the double A-side to the download/streaming generation and none of the series of double A-sides will be released on a physical format ,although we may release the full collection on ltd cd, cassette ,or vinyl when we have finished if we can find a label interested in doing so. But what is it so magical about the double a-side that is catching people’s attention? . is it that we are putting two completely different sounding songs on the same release? , they could be by two different bands ,and hopefully the four singles yet to be released will carry on the tradition . The people are liking them that is all that matters and whether by word of mouth or social media ,people are getting to hear them which is so pleasing especially as they have been ignored on the whole by the musical blogging community Clean Nice & Quiet being an honourable exception and giving the double header a lovely write up before it was released. It has also been played on a number of radio shows and for the first time the singles have started to infiltrate their way on to various Spotify playlists . yes, very ironic as one of our most popular songs is called Piss on Spotify    maybe i will write a song called Kiss on Spotify to make up for it.  But why have they caught people’s attention obviously apart from the reason that they are sparkling pop delights filled with wit and invention ,as that just cannot be the only reason as all the Bordellos tracks are ram jammed with pop delight , is it the oncoming of summer and the sun is in the air and we are entering out of lockdown and need some music to fill their ears and the idea of a double sided pop gem appeals to the smart phone carrying generation , are the Bordellos tapping into the need for double sided splenndidity that the Beatles , Elvis , and many others in the old days you to release , As they were pure magic Has Elvis Presley’s Maries The Name [of His Latest Flame/ Little Sister ever been bettered or did the Beatles in fact manage it with Penny Lane /strawberry Fields , just what is your fave double  A-side . I am just happy that people are enjoying the Bordellos double A-sides and for long may it continue . the next in the series will be released in June  David Bowie/ Be My Maybe on Metal Postcard Records as had the previous two .if you want to give them a listen on spotify feel free listen away and tell your friends to do the same.

The Conspiracy – Apple Zapple

Why oh why are Metal Postcard Records releases are not widely reviewed  as they constantly release music by artists that follow no-one but their own muse , I suppose I have just answered my own question as we all know most blogs are scared of anything that shows invention and originality .

Invention and originality  are two words that fit perfectly this wonderful album of, well invention and originality, pop music that draws on  jangle indie pop ,psych,punk ,garage, prog, dance, that invoke the beguiling spirit of the Television Personalities  if they were recording music for twisted children’s television channel programmed by Julian Cope .Yes indeed this is the album of flawed genius I have been waiting for since the one and only album by the much underrated Wonky Alice and Conspiracy mine the same pop pit as the great Wonky Alice digging up nuggets of Syd Barrett like magic by the bucket load.

What I love about this album is it does not only show melodious wit and invention  in the music but is also matched by their playful lyrics that entertain, provoke and amuse in equal measure ,Conspiracy could well be my new favourite band and I believe they may well be yours .

German Ocean

Let us dive headlong into the ambient slipstream of pure devotion ,yes, this debut album by The German Ocean is awash with many aural colours each subtly setting one’s inner peace   to a melodeon of softly atmospheric feedback of wine on the glass .The soft debonair yearnings of lover’s past of walks hand in hand across the beach gently skimming pebbles into the onrushing tide of time ,whilst the hot summer sun beats down casting your shadows into an entwined glory of sensual pre sexual intercourse. Each beat each drone every fibre of this beautifully created album challenges you to find a mental image as strange and rewarding as this eight-track album provides just as all great works of ambience the German Ocean offers music to truly lose yourself and find a place of pure tranquillity

bigflower- Priviledge – You Will Flood The River -Network Down

bigflower – Priviledge

The skyscraper pointing into the dark night sky cracking the clouds spearing the moon impaling the wonder of the city as it slowly grinds to a halt to become a shadow of slow moving memories of life when it was vital and rewarding ,yes the sonic cathedral of density and smothering cloak of by gone hope and the glimmer of what yet could be ignite in the music of the North West of England ‘s hidden musical tarnished treasure bigflower another three minutes plus of pure dreamscape guitar wonder ,guitars that chime scream and whine like the bell of the old catholic church clinging to the God we all so want to believe in “Priviledge “is another song of dark beauty of wonder and delight .but do we expect anything less from the magnificent bigflower.

You Will Flood The River – Network Down

Does anyone remember the golden age of indie the years the 80’s of course and then baggy happened and everything went a bit silly ,well this could well have appeared ant time during that golden decade it could have well come from the Medway with the garage jangle ferocity of the Dentists or the Northwest guitar scene that gave us the likes of The Weeds or The Waltones ,for this single capture the magic of those bygone days of Oxfam clothes and vinyl records and scratchy 7-inch singles and John Peel on the radio yes this is a single that deserves to be played on a national radio evening session ,a little belter of a single. Once heard and will be in your head all day .